The Zombie Years...

Oh boy, do I have these days, or weeks, sometimes... YES! It's been happening more and more in the past two or so weeks. K2, our 4-year-old, has some large tonsils. Something that we were unaware of until a recent school physical at a different office than our usual pediatrician.

I believe the doctor's words were "Holy cow! Her tonsils are HUGE! They're even bigger than most adults!"

Great. Of course my immediate questions were somewhere along the lines of "Is it something more serious like cancer?".

After being told that they were likely just large, and may or may not effect her, she moved on, with simple instructions that if they seemed to bother her, call and ENT and see about getting them taken out.

She's been fine until about two weeks ago, when the weather turned cold and her nose got stuffy. He snoring is out of control, we can hear her in our room down the hall. But, what's worse is she is struggling to breath at all. Because of this, she keeps waking up and making her way into our bed. After the first night of her flailing her arms and legs to fight for her breath, I called the ENT.

The first appointment was 10 days later. I took it. We're now 4 days away from that appointment, and still getting a visitor in our bed every night.

This is making for some very sleepless nights for The Hubs and me, but we understand that this is just what K2 needs right now. Because I stay at home during the days (and work part time in the evenings), I try to always make sure The Hubs gets a full night of sleep. This, however, has resulted in me stumbling around the house for the first 2-3 hours of the day, even after I've gotten K1 and K2 dressed, fed and dropped off at school. K1 has even been known to look at me as I hand her her school uniform and say "Mama, you'd better get some coffee."

Touche' kid, touche'

Watch your Mouth!

More often than I'd like to admit, I find myself remembering this quote just a few minutes too late.

   I don't want to be the mom who loses her cool and snaps at her kids... But I am.

   I don't want to be the mom who yells when I should be counting to ten before I talk... But I am.

I don't want my kids to only remember me as a mom who yells... And I won't be.

I just need to keep that quote, and the meaning behind it, in the front of my mind!

The Happy House

What will your kids remember about their childhoods? What will they remember about you, their parents? What will they remember about the way you acted towards them?

Sometimes, I really have to scale back my frustrations with my little fawns. I often tell my older two fawns that they need to check their attitudes...and I need to start taking that advice too sometimes. 

It does get frustrating when you've finally scrubbed every last spot and splatter off of the kitchen floor, only to have one of the kids squeeze ketchup all over the floor, ...and table, ...and wall, because they were trying to get their own while you're nursing the baby. 

After finding this 20+ year old newspaper clipping in my mother's jewelry box, I've been able to 'check my attitude' a little better. 

Now, when ketchup goes flying or soap ends up all over the bathroom sink, I do my best to thank my girls for doing their best to help themselves when I couldn't. When they are upset with themselves for spilling, I remind them (and myself) that they are young and still learning how to do so much!

I'm often amazed when I think about how much a child actually learns in his or her short first four years. I have to remind myself that there is still SO much for us to teach them. But, I want them to remember not only the things I taught them, but the way I taught them. 

I want my house to be the happy house.

Breastfeeding, and how I Finally made it work!

Breastmilk, Boobs, Nipples, Pumping, Breast Pads.... OH MY!!  (for anyone who is squeamish about those, or any related words, I suggest you just stop reading now.)

I've mentioned before, breastfeeding has NOT been an easy thing for me in the past. I've had different situations and issues with each of my girls, and have learned that, like deliveries and pregnancies, no two are exactly alike!

If you'll give me the time, I'll  explain my two previous situations, and how this time, with my third daughter, is different. 

K1: She was born at 41 weeks. She was really struggling with her breathing when she was born. I held her for 10 seconds before she was taken to the NICU (this all matters, I promise). She had high acid levels in her blood, a high infection, blood and fluid filled lungs, and an open sore on the back of her head from the vacuum (she was 9lb 9oz and couldn't make it out without help). 5 hours later, at 11pm, I got to really see her in her little incubator. 

My nurses told me that they were going to have me start pumping that night to get things going and stimulate milk production. The hospital did not have a 24 hour IBCLC (internationally board certified lactation consultant), so I wouldn't see one of these LCs until morning. I asked my nurses about the pump, but they were very busy and kept forgetting to bring one. Our second time visiting our baby, 1am, I asked the NICU nurse. She brought one to my room a little while later. 

This is where things started to go wrong. This NICU nurse was very new, I think it was her 1st or 2nd shift ever. She brought me the hospital grade pump, set it up, helped me get everything on, and turned it on... to the highest suction on the fastest speed. I had never pumped, so knew no better. I was told to pump every 3 hours. So, I did, at 2am, 5am and 8am. The LC came in around 9:30 the next morning, and noticed that my nipples had most of the skin rubbed off. She measured me, and realized I'd been given flanges two sizes too small. 

That was the first problem. The LC then gave me soothies:

They felt great, really they did. 

However, as my skin was already broken, when I took the soothies off, they pulled off more skin and any scabs that had started to form. 

The LC and Neonatologist decided that we would try actual nursing at 24 hours old. When we did it that afternoon, K1 had a feeding tube in the center of her mouth. But, we still worked at it. K1 had to learn to nurse around a feeding tube. She did it though. Then (24 hours later) they moved it to the corner of her mouth, she retrained herself, and again, we made it through. 24 hours later, they moved it to her nose instead of her mouth. Finally we were without limitations, but she was so confused by that point, she had all but given up. But we still plowed through. She was in the NICU for 8 days, the 8th day was because she was losing weight and they wouldn't let her leave till she could sustain her weight without a feeding tube. 

We made it home, but over that weekend, I dreaded feeding her. My nipples were so scabbed over, and the tissue was so damaged that it was flapping... yeah, flapping. I thought they looked infected, so I went to my OB. They gave me creams to help, but told me that the damage was so extreme that the only way for them to heal, would be for me to quit nursing and pumping for 2 whole weeks. By that time, my milk was gone. I pumped for 2 months to try to regenerate my supply, took fenugreek, mothers milk tea and lots of oatmeal. K1 would not latch at all. Eventually, I had to throw in the towel.

Oops... that story got much longer than I intended, but K2's is much shorter, I promise!

K2: Born at 38 weeks, 7lb 4oz. She lost quite a bit of weight and got some pretty severe jaundice by 2 weeks old, and was admitted to the hospital. It was a different hospital than the one where she and K1 were born. We worked with a new LC, and she was great. I was having pretty bad pain whether nursing or not, but was told that the latch was great and that it would get better after the initial few weeks. It didn't. I saw her again, and again, was told that the latch was great, just strong. I researched on my own, and thought I had thrush based on the pain symptoms. However, a nurse at my OB's office told me that if there were no visible signs, they couldn't treat it. I was in toe-curling, make me gag, pain the entire 6 months I nursed her. On top of that, at around 3 months, my supply started to drop drastically. I nursed till she refused to keep going, then I'd pump, but formula was still needed. I ate and drank all the 'right' things. No matter what I did, I'd waited too long and couldn't get it to go back up. At 6 months, we completely switched to formula. 

Now, onto my (so far) success story!

K3: I was so determined to make nursing work this time... and at 6 months, my first goal has been met! I got much better prepared this time. 

I ordered 2 forms of Fenugreek before she was even born:

I also ordered Mother's Milk Tea:

It still wasn't an easy start (I'm convinced it never is). Even in the hospital, she went  over 12 hours and refused to nurse. Even if she would try, she refused to nurse on the left side. I was finally able to get her to latch on the left with a nipple shield. To avoid confusion, I used the shield on both sides... and guess what? She got it! She still got high jaundice, and we gave 2oz of formula once a day for 3 days, but she gained steadily. I always had The Hubs give her the bottle, so she never associated ME with anything more than "food from the boob".

At 3 days post delivery, my milk came in full force. No matter how much she nursed (which I pushed a LOT to help kick the jaundice), I couldn't get comfortable. I was started to get clogged ducts. I stood in a hot shower and massaged, and it didn't work. After 24 hours of pain, I caved and pumped, and pumped and pumped. I just needed to be empty. After pumping about 8 oz. that day, I felt much more comfortable, she was able to keep me comfortable without much (if any) additional pumping.

After 2 weeks, my milk supply started to suffer on the left side. I have no idea why, but she was refusing to latch. So I pulled the shield off, and she nursed without it. She was stimulating it better and getting more without the shield. After a few days, she dropped the shield on the right side as well. 

Now, I'm not going to let you think that it was just that easy. There were a few days of starting with the shield, then taking it off, or vice versa. I decided to just let her do what she was going to do and go with it instead of trying to 'train' her into doing it one way or another. 

I was still having quite a bit of pain in the entire breast on both sides at 7 weeks. I went back to the LC, and discussed that it was the same horrible pain I'd had with K2. She suspected non-visible thrush, and told me to put Monistat on my nipples. K3 wouldn't nurse, I guess it tasted funny. So, I turned to Dr. Google, and found many women who'd had success with Gentian Violet. 

 

I ordered some from Walgreens and tried it immediately. I won't lie, the first (and only) day I put it on was horrible. The pain was at least double what it normally was. I vowed I wouldn't use it again. Yes, my nipples were dark purple, and yes, it turned K3's mouth purple, but that didn't bother me... the pain did.

However, the next day, the pain was back to normal, the next day, it was cut in half again. After 2-3 days, the pain was gone. I was amazed at how much more I enjoyed not only nursing my baby, but my baby! I enjoyed holding her, because it didn't hurt! That was a first for me out of 3 babies!

Once I got past the pain, I settled in determined to maintain a high supply. I think that I've always had a great supply in the beginning. I just didn't work hard enough to maintain it. 

Here are my tips to maintaining a good milk supply:

1. Fluids... like, crazy fluids. This is my 52oz gas station mug. I drink a minimum of two of these a day. Water, flavored water, tea, lemonade, juice etc. Powerade is great for boosting supply. 

2. Food. You have to eat! The amount of food I currently eat in a day is probably double what I'd normally eat, but if I don't, if I let myself get just the slightest big hungry, my supply dips. Eating warm, soft foods in beneficial, because your body doesn't need to put as much effort into digesting it. Your body can put all it's efforts into making milk! 

3. Rest. And I know it can be hard... trust me. I have 3 kids, the oldest is 4. I have a part time job. I want to be good at both. I also want to breastfeed. I have to sit when I can. I have to sit when I really shouldn't! I have to go to bed with dishes in the sink, because I need to sleep! Making milk is an activity that your body has to do. It has to have the energy to do it. *I personally can't do much in the line of exercising if I want to maintain a supply. A 30 minute casual walk tanked my milk supply for 2 days with K2. This time, I'm just not doing anything to get into shape. I will, when I'm done nursing. I just have to be ok with that. 

4. Fenugreek. I put a dropper or two in my coffee every morning (and, yes,  it's true, caffeine in any form, including coffee, isn't great for milk production). I think of it as my 'instant boost'. I take 2 Fenugreek pills 3 times a day, it's my 'continued support'. If I'm noticing a growth spurt in K3 and/or a dip in supply, I take 3 pills 3 times a day. If I have an oversupply one day, I don't take the pills that day. 

5. Lactation Bars  I really believe that these were my saving grace when I was really starting to feel like things might fail. We'd gone 2 weeks needing to give 2oz of formula every night when I finally made these. I ate quite a few that first day, but that night, no formula was needed. 

6. Just Nurse. Now, I know that this doesn't always work. I was so frustrated when a friend of mine told me this with K1, when I couldn't even get K1 to attempt to latch. However, If your baby will nurse, then take time to just let them. Grab a few movies or a new series on Netflix, a huge supply of snacks and drinks, and spend hours, even a whole day, or days, curled up with baby. Couch, bed, recliner, wherever, just stay there. Get up to go to the bathroom and go right back to cuddling... and nursing, and cuddling... and nursing, and then do it some more. 

Those are my tips. I've had some interesting experiences with nursing, but I can't be the only one. I KNOW I'm not actually, because no matter how 'natural' people will tell you it is, it's still something that you and your baby need to learn to do, like walking, and you need to learn to do it together, like running a 3-legged race!

*I'm not a Lactivist by any stretch. G1 only got breastmilk for 8 days and she is insanely smart and super healthy. Seriously, she's been sick about 3 times in her entire life. Loving and Feeding your baby are all that really count. Breastfeeding is something that I wanted to do, and for it to not work, well,... Challenge Accepted!!!

The World's Best Hair Tie

Having 3 little girls, I'm deep into the land of hair products. Shampoo, conditioner, detangler, 8 different brushes, ribbons, barrettes, and ponytail holders.

The most commonly used among adults and older kids are probably these:

The durable thread/fabric covered ones. They are great for K1. 

Then there's these things:

Totally worthless for anything past the 'I'm determined to get these 10 wispy hairs into a ponytail' stage. For us, these were ok till about 18 months. Past that hair growth stage though, they just weren't strong enough to keep their hair up, and the 'no pull' feature just made them slick enough fall out. 

Enter MY mom. 

She turned these:

Into this:

Cut the fingers into little rings, about 1/4-1/2 inch wide. That's it. The PERFECT hair tie for 1-3 year olds who still have that fine toddler hair that refuses to stay put.

Making Motherhood (just a touch) Easier

***Stamp found at Etsy Shop: Altered Attic

Most mothers, at some point, feel like they aren't doing a good job at being a mom. Oh sure, they're still alive, but you're pretty sure that you're doing something to screw them up in one way or another. 

As The Hubs jokingly asks  "which one do you think will need therapy?" 

When we were in the final months before K3 was born, I realized that I needed to teach my older two to be a little more independent. I was going to be nursing and knew that, for at least the first two months, I was going to be a little tied to the rocking chair! 

That's not to say they aren't independent at all. They both are quite headstrong most of the time! But, they often needed me to help them with little things, wipe their bottoms, reach the soap, turn on the water on to the correct temp for hand washing, fill their sippies etc.. 

Realistically, they knew how to do most of those things, but weren't great at it. Bathroom help especially with K2, who decided she was ready to potty train one month before K3 was born. And yes, I was thrilled! 

So, I've had to improvise with how they do some things, but by George, they do it themselves! 

A few of my tricks:

~ Diaper wipes in the bathroom for them to use on themselves. Let's face it, they aren't going to be great at getting totally clean, but wipes are probably better than toilet paper!

~ Have them learn to turn on the tub faucet, and not burn themselves! They wash their hands in the tub faucet, fill their own sippies, get their own washcloth wet to wipe up their spills etc.. While they could have gotten a chair to do it all at the sink, I wasn't sure I wanted a chair screeching across the kitchen floor while trying to keep a newborn asleep. 

~ I taught them the steps to do certain thing, and key phrases so that I could tell them what to be doing, and stay hands off. For example, when getting dressed. I taught them to lay their pants and/or panties on the floor, with the words/tag on the bottom, then sit down behind it and pull it on. This eliminated two legs going into one pant leg, them falling over and getting upset or hurt. 

~ When I go grocery shopping, or a shipment comes in with snacks, I immediately separate snacks out and put them into a basket in the pantry. I sort cookies, crackers, and pretzels into snack size ziplock bags. Granola bars and other individually wrapped things all come out of their boxes. The girls know that if I tell them to get a snack, they get to choose out of that baskets. If it's breakfast time or I want them to have something 'healthy', I'll tell them to get something specific, and they know were to find it. At some point I plan to get a few more baskets and color code them with ribbons:

Yellow=Breakfast items

Blue=Salty Snacks

Red=Sweet Snacks

Purple=Candy 

Etc. 

Is it bad parenting that I don't have the time to be at their side every minute to help them do everything? No, I don't think so. I choose to see it as helping them develop their independence. 

What are some tricks you've established to get through your busy day? Leave yours in the comments!

A Little Mom Money

I've almost always had 2 jobs at a time. I like to have that financial security! I've held several different types of jobs, and have loved them all.

Then I went to just one job: Mother (and I love this one too!)

Once I took on one job, the job of being a mom, I found that I felt a little on the useless side. Now, realistically, I knew I wasn't useless, but I hated not helping financially. And even though The Hubs made enough for us to live on, I didn't feel like I should be spending anything on myself, or any extra treats. There was also no way for me to surprise The Hubs with any gifts or treats. He knew exactly how much was going into the bank account, since he was the one putting it there!

So, I started to do little things on the computer, to earn just a little extra 'mad money'. I've actually been able to bank a decent amount of cash in the short time I've been doing it. I also had a few total misses. So, take my advice (if you'd like) and save yourself the trouble of sorting the good from the annoying!

Treasure Troopers (for me) was a total bust. Way too many bells and whistles to keep track of! I don't even remember my account information for that one anymore!

Mypoints is working ok for me, but there is a pretty high cash out volume, and you can only get gift cards. I prefer cash! If you'd like an invite to Mypoints, please contact me!

Swagbucks is where I've landed and it's really working well for me. I've found several little tips and tricks to get the most bang for my (swag)buck! 

    

 ~ Get the Swagbucks App for your phone. You can't do everything from the app, but you can grab a few points a day while you're waiting in line or stuck under a baby at naptime!

 

    ~ Get the Swagbucks TV App... this is a big swagbuck earner for me for mobile! I turn it on and just let it play! You will earn 2 swagbucks for every 5 videos that play on your phone. (secret tip: you don't have to watch them, just let them keep playing!) I actually find some of the videos really interesting! You can only earn swagbucks for a video once a day, but there are a couple of hundred videos throughout several different categories, so it's not hard to get the variety you need. You can earn 70 Swagbucks a day, just by letting these play through on your phone. You can click individual videos on your computer on the Swagbucks site and earn even more! They don't count towards the same total!

 

     ~Shopping... yes, I know, this is the one that everyone hate to hear... "I have to spend money to get money?"... I get it, trust me, I do. I don't do a ton of online shopping (save for Etsy), but I've found a way to increase my online shopping, without spending a penny more than I normally would at the store! I buy my essentials from Walmart (have to click from the Swagbucks link to get your points) online. Diapers, Wipes, Toilet Paper, Napkins, Paper Plates, Food (dry goods or non-perishable food is all you can get online), Dishwasher Soap, etc. If you spend a certain dollar amount (right now it is $35, normally it is $50), shipping is free! So, not only do you save yourself a trip to the store and the gas to get there, but now you are also earning Swagbucks for your shopping! 2,500 Swagbucks=$25 in Paypal cash! There are plenty of gift cards available for smaller amounts of swagbucks, but the Paypal cash is the one I always want! I can use it to shop online, or put it into our bank account!